Perfectionism
Some things I'm practicing
Are you a perfectionist? I didn’t think I was because I’m not meticulous or obsessive about iterating ideas. I tend to look a little disheveled, my home has a lot of personality but is also cluttered and messy. I have not mastered my calendar or routine. You can tell I’ve got some good taste in here somewhere but haven’t really nailed the execution yet. I have a lot of ideas, so many ideas but wrestle with bringing them to life because I want to know the right way to do things before I even begin. I get frustrated and paralyzed after I start something and it’s not measuring up to the ideas in my head. It is a hard way to be! It’s especially hard as an artist. Sometimes I think I should have chosen a path with less ambiguity. Maybe a job with checklists. But also I think it could be the thing that helps me get over my perfectionism. It’s something I’m working on.
I figured out that the paralyzing fear I had while starting a new project was perfectionism from an online cleaning guru named the Fly Lady. She’s this sort of wacky older woman from North Carolina who fly fishes and has created a system for keeping your house clean that’s big in homeschooling communities. She was always messy and frustrated with herself for not being able to keep her house clean until she realized it was her perfectionism that was holding her back. It’s almost like the saying, “if you can’t do something right, don’t do it at all” rang a little too true for her. It stopped her from valuing progress. The way she overcame her perfectionism was to make a system for herself where the progress was valued over the end result. She set timers and did a little bit everyday to keep her house in order. Reading about her system did not make my house clean but it has given me insight into how to overcome perfectionism.
This is what I’ve learned from the Fly Lady and trial and error and also what I need to remember:
Do a little something everyday. Have you heard this parable of the two groups of art students where some were graded on the quantity of their work and the others were graded on quality? Quantity leads to quality.
If you miss a day let it go and try again the next day. Put on your metaphorical slippers and be kind to yourself as you’re beginning this new practice.
Use timers. Maybe you commit to drawing for 15 minutes everyday. And when the 15 minutes is over you’re done or you can keep going if you feel like it.
Give up on the social media trap. As tempting as it is to post every single thing you make to the gram because you feel like you have to is a losing game. Trust that your audience will still be there when you have something valuable to share with them. Feeling like you have to make something post worthy every single time is a stress that you do not need.
Everyone has limitations. This is a benefit not a flaw. Embrace your limitations to make things that you like. It’s your limitations coupled with your skills that makes your work your own.
Take classes with your kids. Do stuff just for fun. Our family went to a community class at the Clay studio where we were tasked with making coil pots and it was great. There was zero pressure except to just enjoy ourselves. We also went to a block party where the Magic Garden folks had a booth set up where you made these impossibly small mosaics in bottle caps filled with mortar and tiny treasures. Joy translates in your work.
Do you have anything to add to this list? How do you overcome all your FEEEEEELINNNNGGGGGSSSSS?!
I am simultaneously one of the most uptight and laid back humans that I know. I want desperately to land somewhere in the middle. And I think the only way to do that is with practice.
Things worth sharing:
Another post on perfectionism and a book I’m putting on hold
A podcast on why all the habit formation tactics prescribed by men don’t work for women
Jason and I are going on a double date on Saturday with some friends to support Laura Sallade Black and her art opening. If you want a fun Philly art adventure I highly suggest listening to this interview with Laura and then going to her gallery opening at Works on Paper in Rittenhouse Square. Laura goes to church with us and she is a treasure of a human.
My friend Sarah wrote a kids book!
I started seeing that nutritionist I was talking about and I felt so bad for this woman who has to meet with clients who know they are supposed to eat more vegetables and are still for some reason unable to do it. I think the accountability is going to be helpful though. My not great insurance offers 6 free nutritionist visits a year as a perk, this is just a reminder to check and see if your insurance offers perks you aren’t taking advantage of.
That is all.
My Shop: phillycornerstore.bigcartel.com
E-mail: halestormenator@gmail.com