My Mom’s lucky number was 4. Her birthday was 4/4 and nothing delighted her more than the fact that she would turn 44 on 4/4/04. It was her thing. After that milestone birthday passed she didn’t know how she would ever top it, so when she turn 45 she got her first and only tattoo, a palm tree on her ankle.
My Mom also delighted in playing the Powerball. I think for a time she even had the tagline, “buy a dream for a dollar” written on a post it note like she was an ad exec brainstorming her next campaign. She was a single mom who worked as a house cleaner and a couple times a month she would allow herself the indulgence of buying a lottery ticket at the Daily Market and dream of what she would do with her riches. Most of her dreaming centered on how she would give it away. My Mom was content with very little. She wrestled with a lot of tough stuff, but she was still the happiest person I have ever met. I think if she really won the lottery she would have bought a reliable car and a small house and then systematically given the rest away. I don’t really know all that she dreamed about. I do remember her mentioning goats, so maybe she would have bought some goats, the fainting kind. Outside of that I’m sad to say I don’t really know what else she wanted.
So on my 40th birthday, last Friday March 21st I was delighted to see that the Powerball jackpot was 444 million dollars. I genuinely laughed out loud and said, “hi Mom”. I knew I had to buy a lottery ticket in her honor. Typically I am a lottery cynic. I feel like the lottery is a tax on poor people’s dreams. Smart sensible people don’t buy lottery tickets. But I would do this for my Mom. I told Elliott about Granny Sue and her lucky numbers. We went to Wawa to figure out how to buy a lottery ticket. When my Mom would buy them you would fill out little scantron bubbles with a pencil and the cashier would feed it through a machine and then hand you a ticket. Now we had to go into the lunch rush at the gas station and press buttons on an enormous screen. It made me kind of anxious that I didn’t know what I was doing and sort of embarrassed that my naiveté was on full display. That all these people could see I was delusional and actually thought I had a tiny chance of winning the lottery.
After our purchase our whole family had bought in on at least allowing ourselves to dream. I allowed myself to believe that maybe the ghost of my Mom had some sort of power over the Powerball in the afterlife. That this could be an actual sign that we were meant to win. Elliott said he’d donate money to his school and buy himself an actual transformer mech suit. Jason said he’d buy the school across the street from our house, mostly for the indoor basketball court. I wanted to buy the house of the noisy neighbors next door (not you Jordan, you’re a quiet neighbor) and turn it into an art studio. We all thought about the things that we would set right, fixing the neighborhood rec centers, creating an enormous fund to help neighbors through our church’s care team. We would give big financial gifts to our families and pay off the student loans and mortgages of our friends. We let ourselves dream big mech suit dreams.
The morning after the drawing I woke up and checked the numbers. We had gotten exactly zero correct. I laughed out loud again, relayed the information and we all kind of smirked and shrugged and got back to our breakfast. We recounted all the blessings we already had. I didn’t expect my Mom to feel so present on my 40th birthday. She passed away in 2019. I didn’t expect this gift of dreaming and remembering. It made me so delighted and I am thankful.
A couple of neighborhood kids that I adore and who are literal answers to prayer for our family said they wanted to wish me happy birthday. I said thanks and asked when their birthdays were. My face lit up when one of them said 4/4. I grinned really big and said, “that’s my Mom’s birthday.”
40’s gonna be great. I feel like I’ve already won the lottery.
Things worth sharing:
While I was writing this I was reminded of the This American Life story about the river dance troupe that buys a bunch of lottery tickets.
I finished the page turning mystery God of the Woods this weekend by Philly author Liz Moore. I’m definitely adding her novel set in Philly Long Bright River to read asap
I was inspired by video artist Erik Winkowski’s “ZINEMAIL No.1” to add some animated gifs to my newsletter. I read about it in Austin Kleon’s always great newsletter.
I’m also adding this book to my reading list. We moved to the city when we were young which means a lot of our friends have moved. The city is a transient place and you have to get used to inviting new people in if you want to keep having friends. We are people who stay, that’s why this book interests me.
How sweet are these custom doilies.
PAINTING OF THE WEEK!
My cousin Mary, who grew up next door to me and whose birthday is the day after mine commissioned me to make this painting for her boss. It’s of their dog Hammer. I loooooved making it and opened up 2 spots for painting commissions in my shop. You can find them here. 8x10 stylized pet portraits painted in acrylic for $120.
My Shop: phillycornerstore.bigcartel.com
E-mail: halestormenator@gmail.com